Once More Into the Breach...

I thought I would try this again, but this time stick mostly to cooking and maybe some funny or odd stuff that seems to happen around here once in a while. BigRockKiller keeps complaining that I never write down any recipes, so he never gets the same meal twice, no matter how good it is the first time, or the next, for that matter. BB might like a collection of recipes, as she's becoming quite adventurous in the kitchen, when BBF lets her cook.

I guarantee there will be puppy posts. Sorry, but tough shit. Them's the breaks.

It's late now, but tomorrow I'll write up the pea soup I made from the ham bone BB gave me to take home the other day.

Here's a pic of the boys to keep you happy till tomorrow.

Nitey nite.

Road Trip...

Road Trip:

Me: Green
BigRockKiller: Red
Car: Blue

"We need to take the next exit."
"OK. Which exit?"
"The next one."
"OK."
"This exit."
"That one?"
"Yes, that one." *sigh*
"Damn!"
"OK, take this one."
"This one?"
"YES!"
"OK."
*click,click click,click*
"Keep on eye out for the Futureshop sign. I know it's around here somewhere."
"OK."
"There it is."
"Where? "
"There!" *points* "Right there!"
"Where?"
"There, there!" *sigh* "Back there."
"Oh, there. That sign used to be bigger."
*click,click click,click*
"You can't make a U-turn here!"
"Yes, I can. Shut up."
"Ok, where was that sign?"
"It's right there, turn right here."
"Right here?"
"Yes!"
"Oh damn."
*click,click click,click*
"I'm just going to turn in here, I know it's gotta be right around here. We'll get our bearings in here."
*pulls in right in front of Futureshop*
"OH, well there it is right there. See, I told you I knew where it was!"

*back on the highway*

"Ok, keep an eye out for a motel."
*looks ahead, there's about 20 motels on both sides*
"Which one do you want?"
"I don't care. Big screen TV is good. Movie channel?"
"Ok, that one has both. Oh, well, that one does too."
"Where?"
"Well, it's back there..."
"There's more up ahead..."
"Ok, there's one with internet."
"Where?"
"There.. the left."
"Oh, damn."
*click,click click,click*
"You can't turn left here!"
"I'm not. I'm turning around."
"But you can't U-turn here!"
"I'm signalling!"
*click,click click,click*
*sigh*
"Now where was it?"
"Just up here. There...next right."
"Where?"
*sigh* "Back there..."
*click,click click,click*
"What was it called?"
"I don't know...Vippy, Twippy, something like that."
"Twippy?? Haha, what a Warren! Oh, there...V.I.P.!"
"Well, I was close... You should have turned there."
"Damn!!"
*click,click click,click*
*sigh*
"It was the NEXT turn. Maybe we can swing around the back?"
*click,click click,click*
*sigh*

Next day, heading home:

"Look at that idiot! You can't make a U-turn there! He didn't even signal!!! Warren!"
*sigh*

Arriving in Home Town:

"That's it. I'm never driving away from home again! I'm only going to drive where I know where the hell I'm going!!"
"We've got an hour to kill, let's go see the kids."
"Ok."
"Where are we going? Why are you going this way??"

"I don't know..."

*click,click click,click*

*sigh*

Phyrie goes to the Doctor...

About a year or so ago, I began to have what is so charmingly referred to as “hot flashes”. Believe me when I tell you there ain’t nothing fucking charming about ‘em. Up until the hot flashes I have had all kinds of other “female” symptoms. I am told I have PMS. I dare ya to tell me that around the middle of the month. I dare ya.
I wouldn’t mind so much, if it was the same every month, but it’s not. It’s like there’s some nasty moonsprite out there, coming up with new vicious ways to fuck me over. One month it might be moodiness (Or as Killer likes to say “Duck!! She’s gonna kill someone!!"...He’s so supportive…*sigh*) the next it might be pain and cramping, or bloating till I’m big enough to float to the mainland without benefit of ferry. Then nothing for a couple months, so I get a nice surprise while I’m walking in Walmart looking for dishwasher detergent. (For you men who don’t know what I’m talking about, ask your girlfriends, or your mothers...oh, damn, what am I saying…I meant getting your period when you don’t expect it, ya losers!!)
Perhaps I should take a minute to introduce those of you new to ..well, me, some of the physical crap I deal with these days. My doctor, the little Irish leprechaun smartass that I trust with what’s left of my health, asked me to step on the scale during my last visit.
I said “No”.
He said, “I beg your pardon?”.
I said, “Don’t beg, Kevin, it’s unattractive, and unnecessary. I meant No and I’m not stepping on that damn thing.”
“Why, if I may ask?”
“Well, let’s recap, shall we? I am over 40, overweight, and overmedicated. I have a heart condition, hypothyroidism, spondylosis, a scoliosis, a spina bifida, and arthritis in my knee and hip. I am an asthmatic, depressed, pre-menopausal insomniac. I have had open chest heart surgery, my collar bone separated, my ribs broken, and my spine fused: twice. I have so many track marks on my arms from being in hospitals, I’m afraid that if I’m unconscious in an accident someday, they’ll blow me off as a junkie, and donate my scarred, sorry ass to a medical school. I’ve had a broncoscopy, a tubal-ligation and an arterial cutdown, all of which ended badly. I have known the joys of medicinal morphine for 7 days in row. I know from personal experience you can hallucinate on pure oxygen. I take codeine every day for pain, and drink beer every day to help the codeine. I don’t eat anything but hickory smoked almonds and Skittles. But you want me to step on that scale so you can tell me if I have a weight problem??? Buddy, I don’t need anything else wrong with me. So I say, No.”

So, we’ve decided I need Hormone Replacement Therapy. I did mention to him that Killer thinks I’m a little bitchy, too. He found that funny. Which I didn’t. *sigh*

The little green pills seem to be taking care of the hot flashes.
The moods are something else. I hope it’s pre-menstrual. Cuz I think I might have to hit something, soon.

Phyrie